Unlovable
The warm forest air whipped my fringe into my eyes and around my head. The last rays of golden light sprayed through the tall Mountain Table Pines as Aaron’s 2013 Toyota 4Runner swept around the curves of the skinny state park road, each twist and turn jostling me around the backseat. I could hear a Harry Styles song playing over the sound of my best friend Bailey excitedly listing off the many hikes and trails we would explore during our camping trip. My stomach twinged as I imagined spending the next four days in the middle of nowhere with these two, with no cell service, no AC, and no running water. I chastised myself for agreeing to come on this trip, but Bailey had always convinced me to step out of my comfort zone. I jumped, pulled from my self-pitying thoughts, as Bailey let out a squeal, signaling our arrival at our campsite.
As we pulled into the gravel parking spot next to our site, I grumbled as I noticed storm clouds gathering just over the trees surrounding the clearing where we decided to set up camp. Aaron shut off the car, and Bailey whipped her body around to face the backseat in a flurry of golden blonde and tinsel. She squealed again.
“Scarlett! Your first camping trip! Aren’t you so excited?”
I plastered on the best fake smile my somber face could muster.
“I’ve never been more excited for anything in my entire life! My first camping trip! Third-wheeling! In the middle of nowhere!”
Bailey frowned at my sarcasm, and Aaron mumbled something under his breath I didn’t quite catch and turned towards the windshield to examine the dark clouds. As Bailey started to refold her collection of maps and wildlife guides, I took the opportunity to appreciate Aaron's broad shoulders and long, fluffy hair. I felt a twinge of guilt for still thinking of him like this, but I had loved him longer than Bailey had even known he existed. He was just so handsome and athletic, and madly in love with my best friend. But that didn’t matter; if Bailey was happy, I was happy.
Right? Wrong. It was becoming harder and harder to repress these feelings of resentment I held for her. She was so perfect, with straight A’s, the captain of the cheer team, and dating the love of my life. I, on the other hand, had become a … I just felt unlovable, like a second thought compared to Bailey. I was just a supporting character when I was with her.
The sharp tap, tap, tap of Baileys' perfectly-manicured nails on the window shook me from my thoughts yet again, and I climbed out of the backseat to help set up our tents.
As we rested around the growing fire, I watched as the nylon tents shivered in the late July breeze and wondered if Ubers came out this far, wary of the thin separation between the untamed forest and my sleeping self. After taking a sip from her thermos, Bailey exclaimed,
“Before it gets dark, we should go on that hike I told y’all about!”
It is dark out, I thought to myself.
“Yeah, let’s go; I was getting sort of bored just sitting here, anyways,” Aaron encouraged, standing up out of his flimsy foldable chair. The couple stared at me in earnest; Bailey was already pulling on her hiking boots. I tried not to roll my eyes.
“Fine,” I cringed. “But if I get lost or killed out there, I’m blaming it on you two.”
“Oh, don’t be silly; I know these woods like the back of my hand. Just stay on the trail, and you’ll be fine,” Bailey laughed.
Aaron started lecturing about backpacks and safety supplies, but I again let my mind wander. I looked at Bailey warily, recalling our conversation two weeks ago when she invited me on this trip, and she told me it would only be her second time at the park. I heard the deep boom of the thunder and the sharp crack of its echo reverberating through the valley and shook the thought from my mind.
I probably misheard her, I thought as I pulled on my oldest pair of tennis shoes and scrambled to my feet to follow Bailey and Aaron, who were already setting out on the trail.
After hiking for what seemed like hours through tangly brambles in the dark, thick forest with winding paths, Aaron announced we should take a break. We had all become unreasonably on edge during our trek up the mountain; I kept getting the feeling we were being watched. It was a feeling that grew stronger when we walked through patches of cold air, which Bailey explained occurred all the time in the mountains. For some reason, I was finding it harder and harder to trust her explanations.
I sat down on a fallen tree next to the trail exhausted and spooked and unscrewed the cap of my water bottle to take a drink, but it was empty.
“Hey, Bailey, can I have some of your water? Mine’s all gone.”
Bailey opened her mouth to respond, but Aaron beat her to it.
“Scarlett, that was our water, too. Are you kidding me? Did you not listen to me at all?”
“Listen to you when? You never told me anything about sharing water,” I sputtered.
“Oh my God, I can’t believe you!” He turned to Bailey with a pleading look.
“He did tell you that we only have a certain amount of water, y’know, when we were sitting around the fire,” Bailey scoffed.
I must have been thinking, not paying attention to Aaron. A sharp wind tore through the forest, and goosebumps rose up my legs and arms. I shivered.
“Do you guys feel that, too?”
“Feel what? You’ve been creeped out the entire hike, and it's affecting us all. We’re in nature, Scarlett, you’re going to see and feel things,” Aaron shot at me.
I stood from my place on the log and said, “Look, I’m sorry I wasn’t paying attention to what you said about the water. Let’s just head back to our campsite. I’m sure it’s nothing.”
Bailey gave me a sympathetic look, and Aaron brushed past me down the trail. All of a sudden, I felt the air around us go cold, as cold as my bathroom felt when I stepped out of a warm shower. I felt a sharp shove to my shoulders, and I heard a shriek, and then the dull thud of a body hitting something hard before everything went black.
When I regained consciousness, I pushed myself off of the trail and spat the mud out of my mouth.
“BAILEY!” I heard Aaron shout.
I blinked away the dizziness and stumbled to my feet. On my way down, I must have grabbed Baileys' arm, which sent her tumbling down next to me, off of the trail, and down the steep hill.
As I reached the bottom of the hill, I saw the boulder I assumed Bailey had slammed into on her way down. In front of that boulder was Aaron, kneeling in the mud, cradling Baileys' limp form. I let out a cry of surprise, and Aaron's empty eyes shot up to mine. Before I could ask if she was alright, Aaron reached his hand down to check her pulse.
“She’s not breathing,” he whispered. I knelt by his side, and he turned to face me with a look of shock.
“Scarlett …” he breathed. “She’s not breathing.” I looked at her now pale, perfect face, and turned to Aaron with a frown.
“Aaron, I didn’t push her down the hill. Someone pushed me, and I grabbed Bailey's arm. I didn’t mean to … Oh, my God, what do we do? I'm so sorry, Aaron, what are we going to do?!”
I was panicking now. My breath quickened, and I felt tears pool in my eyes.
“Scarlett, you did it!” he shouted, sounding almost … happy. He let her body fall to the mud and looked up. I was taken aback by the pure excitement in his eyes. I clambered to my feet, my head still pounding, my vision hazy, and took a few unsteady steps back.
“Scarlett, don’t you understand? I’ve wanted her gone for months. I planned this trip just to get rid of her, but you did it for me.”
His shoes squelched in the mud as he took three more steps towards me, and I considered his confession. I have what I want. Bailey is gone, and I can finally be happy with Aaron.
“Aaron… I can’t believe you would kill Bailey to be with me, that’s so — so romantic.”
He smiled at me, then began to laugh, a low chuckle I could barely hear.
“I’ve known about your little crush on me the whole time.”
“You knew?” I rasped.
“Scarlett, the only reason I even agreed to go on this trip was so I could get rid of Bailey to be with you, I told you that.”
I couldn’t believe it. My best friend in the entire world was dead, and I was happy about it. Just for one split second, I hesitated. I was scared. What was going to happen now? What were we going to do with her body?
Realizing the gravity of the situation, I stumbled over a branch and landed with a wet squelch into the mud as I started to back away from Aaron. He began to take long strides in my direction when I felt the forest go cold again. Aaron must have noticed it, too, because he stopped walking, frozen in place. I watched silently as he drew a hunting dagger from his coat and held it in his right hand, his eyes whipping wildly around the forest. I thought I saw a dark figure move in the corner of my eye, but I just assumed it was the light playing tricks on me. Aaron shook his head, starting towards me again.
“Look Scarlett, I know that your best friend dying is a lot to take in, but —”
He hesitated, towering over me, his eyes as black as the sky above us. He squatted down to my level, the now-dark forest eerily silent, as if the mountains were just watching, waiting, to see what would happen next, to see how my pathetic little life would finally result in something happy.
He leaned forward wordlessly to wrap his arms around me, and I eagerly leaned forward. I was so happy to finally be able to hug Aaron; I had wanted this for so long. All of these emotions suddenly hit me like a truck, and I just couldn’t contain my feelings any longer.
“I love you, Aaron,” I breathed.
“I …”
I held my breath. He pulled away from the hug and felt around for something in his jacket. I was staring at his face intently, admiring his sharp jawline and spattering of freckles on the bridge of his nose, listening for the words I’d waited so desperately long to hear, when I felt an intense, burning pain in my stomach. My smile faltered as his look became sinister, and his eyes grew dark. I looked down to see Aaron's hand plunging his hunting knife into my stomach. He leaned in, his forehead almost touching mine, and whispered.
“I would never love you.”
He smirked and pulled the knife from my stomach. All of the breath left in my lungs went away with a whoosh, and I collapsed back to the soft ground. My vision turned blurry at the edges, but I couldn’t tell if I was crying or if the slow process of death was starting to take over.
Aaron stood up and threw the bloody knife next to Baileys' body. I used most of my remaining strength to turn and look at her face, and my head spun. As my vision focused, I thought I saw a tear roll down her mud-covered cheek. I closed my eyes; they were playing tricks on me again. She was dead, and I would soon be, too. I had betrayed her, and now we were both dead.
I took a shallow breath and opened my eyes to see Aaron examining Bailey’s body. I suddenly felt like I was floating, feeling all of the pain and exhaustion leave my body. The darkness at the edges of my vision was calling me, beckoning me to join it. I shuddered, my breath leaving my mouth in tiny little puffs; I was freezing. I opened my eyes one last time and saw that same looming shadow figure behind Aaron, ready to pounce. Then I sank down, down, down into the welcoming darkness.