I often think about the rush of public speaking, 

And how it seems the universe does everything in its power to distract you

The grainy suits and stiff hair contradicting the fluid and powerful speech

How the moment you enter the room, as if traveling to a new continent the atmosphere changes

The pungent smell of burnt coffee invading my nostrils like a parasite

The cheap cologne infusing with it becoming a warrior of scent

Fighting to keep me focused on anything but my words

Feeling my heart beat faster and faster as if a pendulum is clicking to a stop, telling me it's time to speak

Hearing the scratchy whispers of my competitors practicing to a corner 

As the shuffle of their notecards forcefully makes itself at home in my ears

Hearing each step, each pen click, each rhythmic breath

Creating a cadence concerning me to cease and secede

A certain level of respect is shared between the competitors

Understanding the work put in to memorize

Run after run, paragraph after paragraph

Saying the same line over and over like a broken record long forgotten and overlooked

Overlooked like the worked put in, the final result like a bluetooth stream of your favorite song

Hearing the final product, not understanding the time it took to get there

We are all often told the line, “It's just talking, how hard can it be”

When my number is called, the pendulum picks up the pace to an impossible speed

The swing of each beat moving so fast, gravity itself couldn’t replicate

Each click of my heel coming into contact with the cool tile floor

Sending waves of throbbing nerves up through my legs

Feebly, I reach the front where I am met with the wide-eyed stares

Stares like I just told them I’m glad their mother died

My vision getting narrower with each breath under the attentive gaze of judgment

Feeling each fibrous stitch of my shirt, a beckoning call for my attention

My vision, tunneled and pulsating, begging me to focus on anything else

Despite the distraction of the distant deity of delusionary delaying

I still speak.